?____?
Mood:  not sure
Here I wrote this for you..you may not understand it but lol...anyways here goes....

You kept saying I've changed
and have given me reasons why
Im not going to lie to you
I see the same change in myself

But I also see a change in you
You may not see it but its there
You say I'm "more of the world"
But I keep trying to show you I'm
As much of the world as you are

The times we spend together
Are not the same as before
We've become more angry with eachother
Because of our actions or choices

I keep trying to go back to
My old self but I can't remember
Who I was back then
All I remember is that every day
I felt more uncomfortable around everyone
and followed the world more than I do now

I did'nt stick up for myself or you
Because I was afraid of being judged
But after this change I went through
It has turned to such the opposite
Im not afraid of who I am now...
Maybe the choices I've made overwhelm me
With guilt, but im not afraid of showing
What I believe in
Ive finally found confidence in myself
I have been looking for this confidence
For as long as I can remember
I have the faith in myself now that I can succeed

I admit that I've become less honest
With my parents and have gone behind their back
And it was fun for awhile but after all that
I've lost their trust and am still
Trying to gain it back
I keep trying and trying to be better
But everytime I fail
And this makes you upset with me
I wish you could see I am trying
But I know its hard to trust people
With all that you have been through

I don't mean to get you upset
I don't know why I've changed
I don't know how to change back
I don't know what to do at all

I've asked Him to help me
But I can't feel him there
I know He is but I've turned my
Back on Him for so long...
I just can't feel Him within me
I know it may not make sense
But it's hard to explain
I'm still waiting to breakdown
Cause when I do I'll feel His prescence again

I still have alot of pride in me
And I dont know how to let it go
My pride is what makes my attitude this way
And I just have a hard time understanding
How to get rid of it




I'm sorry for what you have to go through
I'm sorry I mess up all the time and
Made our relationship this way
I hope you'll forgive me and that we wont get into fights like this again.
But i g2g the bells gonna ring
Love ya,
Amanda